zena musings

New Year Blessings

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm not big on resolutions, and in many ways this is just another wonderfully normal day that I woke up, said my prayers and did my best. And yet, and yet . . . it's so different as well. The air quietly shimmies with fresh new beginnings, hopes and dreams. A special breakfast. My annual ritual of taking down old calendars and putting up new. Closing out zena moon's books.

If one year ago today you had told me what I'd go through in 2007, I would have shot back You wanna bet? No way would I have knowingly faced much less lived through Elliott passing, getting divorced (very amicable, no lawyers, but still hard emotionally) and moving to Spokane. But I showed up for every single minute of it and survived with my sanity and sobriety intact through Grace, beaucoup AA, family & friends, living in the present moment sometimes one second at a time, doing only the next right indicated thing, choosing love more often than fear, and trusting Spirit.

Today I'm 100% grateful for my life in Spokane. I cherish being single again (truly my natural state of being!). I wouldn't move back to beautiful, soggy, crowded, hectic Seattle for anything. My heart both aches and smiles as I miss Elliott every day. I don't know what this year holds. To be honest I'm a little gun-shy. After 2007's great emotional earthquakes, my foundation is still shaky, and I'm afraid of any more losses. I've forbidden my dogs and parents from dying or getting sick for a really long time.

In my bones I know 2008 is about resting, healing and settling into my new life. Asking what I need to better care for myself -- spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. The two words that keep swimming to the surface are ease and enjoyment. Keeping it very, very simple!

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying "I Surrender!"
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.

~Hafiz

Saint means holy person, and I believe we are ALL holy. Here's to fewer serious moves and more love, Spirit, compassion, togetherness, acceptance, simplicity and PEACE in 2008!

(The beautiful angel in the photo sits on my living room altar and was made by Sister Kathryn and gifted to me by Sister Cathy.)

My New Big Buzz

Sometimes, no matter how many orders I have to fill, emails to answer and phone calls to return, I've gotta play hooky and get out of the studio. Today Marla Emde and I spent several hours picking out a new bike for me! That's Marla holding my bike outside REI. I'm so excited! It's a Novara Big Buzz regularly $800 on sale for $600. My birthday present to myself.

I'm so grateful Marla and I had plans to meet today and that I didn't bail on her because I didn't "feel like" going. Doing the right thing regardless of how I feel almost always changes how I feel -- for the better!

Today was no exception.

The more time I spend outside my head -- in action, in service, or with other like-minded people -- the better my state of mind.

Saturday I found out my divorce became legally final last week, and I woke up in a sad pissy mood this morning. Between my new bike with Marla and going to tonight's Gonzaga women's basketball game with my parents, I'm reminded that my new bachelorette life in Spokane is excellent, love-filled, rich, exciting and jam-packed with fun new blessings.

With my new bike and Marla's help, by next summer's Valley Girl Triathlon I am going to have smooth thighs and a smokin' ass. :)