Sacred Life Sunday: Prowling for God

What would a man buried alive do?

Try with all his strength to breathe the sun again, of course.

Your hands, your feet, your eyes,
your every word and
thought,

there is
not one waking
second

the soul pounding against the cage of the body
does not want God

to rush into its
lungs.

The sleeping man is blessed with
a faith that is not
active.

Faith as it ripens turns into an almost insatiable appetite,

and the awake lion must prowl for God
in places it once feared.

St. John of the Cross

Love Poems from God is my favorite book of poetry. It features poems by 12 well-known lovers of God: Rabia, St. Francis of Assisi, Rumi, Meister Eckhart, St. Thomas Aquinas, Hafiz, St. Catherine of Siena, Kabir, Mira, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and Tukaram. If I could own only 10 books, this would be one of them.

Last night I read the above poem by St. John of the Cross, which I gather was written after he spent 9 months in prison getting beaten with vicious regularity by his fellow priests. Talk about a dark night of the soul. Turns out the most prolific period of his life followed his imprisonment, which gives me hope that maybe God isn't done with me yet. I've experienced such widespread loss the past 3 years, I've seriously wondered.

I would like to go back to sleep. I crave oblivion. But like it or not, that isn't my fate. Nor would it be even temporarily possible without resorting to deadening myself (again) with alcohol. No thanks! For whatever reason, I was born an awake lion. I get to prowl for God in places I once feared, because what alternative is there?

Thank God for the mystics. For poetry. They can be like a sun, words. They can do for the heart what light can for a field.

Comments

[Olivia Brown]

I thank God for you, Carla. That you are an awake lion. Thank you for sharing yourself here. Your words always inspire me, and continue to encourage me in my journey to be authentic. Love, O

[Alane]

talk about honesty! and pouring your hearts out! that poem gave me the chills & i totally appreciate you sharing your feelings carla. i struggle with "exposing" my feelings to people & reading your blog helps me realize that it's ok to share, people, even strangers (like me to you) can relate & hope the best for you & not judge you (one of my fears). so thank you again for putting it out there-- maybe someday i'll do the same. alane