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Friday, July 09, 2010


Olivia Brown

Absolutely, Carla! Continuing to send my love to you both (you and Silas)...really glad you're competing tomorrow and that you're going to have your session on Tuesday.

This is just an aside, but I wanted to share it with you. Everyone does such different and unique things to grieve. When my dog Winston (a Yorkie-Poo) died 14 years ago, it was (and remains) the hardest loss I've ever had. I had prayed for years that Winston would have a "good death" (little to no suffering) because I knew I could never bear it. I would rather die myself to spare that little dog. He did indeed have a good death and I was grateful.

Anyway, one thing I was compelled to do afterwards was to make a list of the affection names and phrases I regularly called him. I listed every variation, compulsively, like Winnie, Winnie the Pooh, Pooh-Bear, Bear-of-My-Heart, etc. There were a thousand. Really, a thousand. That list migrates to every computer I have and of course I have hard copies. It was eccentric, but I needed to do it, and it brought me great comfort.

I was showing the list to my husband when I finished, and a bougainvillea leaf fell on it and I KNEW it was from Winston. That makes no sense at all, but it happened and was real. I know that you know what I mean.

And now for years I've dreamed of him often. There are many other stories of how he has affected me after his death. It is so personal that it is almost impossible to put into words. Back then there weren't blogs or other venues for me to share my stories and heal. It took me about 10 years to be able to do so without crying (although I still do tear up, like now).

That's why I'm especially glad that you can share your stories of Lucy and of grieving here online and we can all bear witness.

Much love, O

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Oh Yes

  • "When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life."
    —Jean Shinoda Bolen

Carla Blazek


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