Hi, remember me? :)

It has been a long time since I've written much of anything substantial here, but now that my Flickr 365 Days project (a self-portrait every day for a full year, which naturally for me meant writing as well) is finished, I have more bandwidth for blogging! And I'm glad, because I missed writing here and I missed reading your blogs as well.

So what's new in zena moon-land? A bevy of new candles are in the works! They include:

discernment
freedom from guilt
gay pride
girlfriends
intention
listening
mama's timeout
meditation
midlife mojo
releasing the past
sacred space
self-respect
spiritual guidance
stillness
yoga

I'm very excited about them and wish they were all ready now. :) My creative process with candles involves prayer, patience, pure unfiltered intuition and simply showing up with the necessary tools: my hands, hot wax, colors, scents and gemstones. They're born when they're ready, and not a moment before.

I'm also going to offer monthly candle-making classes beginning this spring! Once I settle on the dates I'll post the schedule here, and/or you can signup to receive the zena moon newsletter and easily stay tuned that way.

On a personal note I am doing better than ever. I'm thoroughly enjoying my freedom and my life as a single woman at age 45! I'm dating (scary but fun!), texting, flirting wildly, crushing, having amazing new experiences, running with a new pack of lesbian friends, nurturing new and old friendships daily, socializing out the wazoo and spending good quality time with good quality women. Life is incredibly rich and savory, and for a while now my heart has felt like a big fat red round beaming Buddha. I feel like I'm thawing out and coming to life after a long deep freeze. It's now exactly two years since God pulled the rug out from under my life -- marriage ending, sudden move to Spokane, Elliott's passing -- and if you've followed my blog you know I've been open and honest about the incredible pain and difficulty -- not to mention length -- of the grieving process. Healing takes time and work on many different levels. It sure isn't a barrel of monkeys, except for the shit-throwing part. But I'm grateful I was present for all of it, and for myself, and I thank God I'm on the other side. Because where I'm at now is beyond good.

I have experienced and lived over and over again the promise quoted on my faith candle:

"When you come to the edge of all that you know and are about to step into the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."

More soon. I swear!

P.S. Check out DailyOm's 10 tips for Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World reposted over on Women at Rest.

Comments

[darlene]

love the 10 tips and seeing you here again and yummy new candles are always a good thing :) xox

[Olivia]

It's wonderful to see you "back" Carla, although you were never REALLY gone, totally; I've followed your journey over the last two years with great interest, respect, awe, and love. I'll be thrilled to be hearing more about you. Peace, love, and continued growth and blessing, O

[Lunarmusings]

:) You so inspire me to embrace the beauty in each day! I love getting glimpses into you ever increasing life and cheer you on sister! Date, love, embrace and flirt away my friend. Life is so good.

[Lori]

Beautiful! It is so inspiring to hear of people like you living their life out loud and loving every second of it!

[Rebecca]

It is wonderful to have you back! I've followed your journey since very near the beginning and I've rather missed you online presence. It is so good to hear you happy.

[miss*R]

Hello Zena, I haven't visited in quite awhile but today (Sunday for me) I have decided to begin Sacred Sunday again.

as to the grieving process, my internet friend Daisy died nearly two years ago and just this month, I realized that I was now finally at the end of the grieving process. It took that long. There was no way I could rush it and truly I never thought I would get through it. There is no set time for grieving, I have learned that.
so glad your life is full of love and life now! enjoy xo

[Pamela @ A Touch of Inspiration]

I discovered Zena Musings not so long ago and started participating in Sacred Sunday. I look forward to getting to know you because I can see that you are a beautiful soul.

[Anu]

Your quote made me cry. Something happened yesterday and today again I feel like I have to start all over again and so your quote really hit home.

[claire]

lovely to see you back, dear carla - i've missed you!! :o) xoxox