Honoring Sorrow

The other day my friend Olivia tweeted, "Grief makes everything overwhelming," a truth if ever there was one. I'm planning to write more tomorrow, Elliott's birthday, but I hit a Big Wall of Grief today. At first I just thought I was crabby and hormonal until I realized I'm feeling profound sadness viscerally missing my boy. God DAMMIT I HATE DEATH.

So, suddenly yet completely, today became overwhelming. For about an hour I tried to power through -- kept working, told myself it's only packing candle orders, simple enough -- but I can't do it. Pushing myself today feels like cruelty.

"Cradle your wounded places like precious babies," wrote SARK. That's the quote on zena moon's honoring sorrow candle. I'm honoring my sorrow by taking some gentle time off to cradle myself. Honor sorrow, honor Elliott, honor love, honor life.

Comments

[Ken Mattsson]

Carla,

Be kind and loving to yourself. Loss affects us even after you're sure your over it. I'm still dealing with my mother's death.

Hugs!

[Stacy]

Every time you write about him or post a pic of his handsome face, I feel extraordinarily grateful to have met him.

I love you...

[Olivia]

Love never dies.

My greatest love was my dog, Winston. He comes to me in my dreams. He lives in my heart. I know-know-know that Elliott does the same in yours.

Yes, honor. Gentleness, you deserve that, Carla. Rest. Cradle, LIve.

Love never dies.

Love to you, my friend,

O

[Delia]

i fucking hate death TOO.

i am almost bursting into tears hearing you talk about missing your baybee bOY, cuz it is touching the place in ME that is so madly in love with my Creature Gift, yellowLABboy, right now.
+
the place in me that remembers the sharpness & huge despair that followed the three deaths of the puplettes before him.

kudos to YOU for stopping.
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allowing your feelings.

[Carole]

As always, you touch me so Carla. How you loved each other....

[Colleen]

Every time your experience the pain, remember that it is a mere reflection of the love and a reminder that it still exists. Although no longer with you, Elliot's love is.

Would you take away any of the precious moments you shared to lessen the sorrow you are experiencing now? If the answer is an emphatic NO, then as much as you mourn the loss of a great friend, there is no way you would have taken anything away from your experience together.

No matter how great the pain may be, if you wouldn't change anything from your life with your loved one to lessen it, you know that you have had a very special relationship with somebody - something that many long for and never experience. When the sorrow comes, remember it as a mere reflection of the love you once shared, and a reminder that it has not gone away.

I used these thoughts from John Stevens about his loss of his dog Sara each time this pain happens to me. Peace comes to me when I think of his love surrounding me and not about the pain