Mammogram Humor

In honor of my upcoming mammogram today, here's a little humor to lighten up our day (author unknown)...

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test! Best of all, these simple exercises can be done at home.

Exercise 1
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in the door. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on it for good measure. Hold that position for 5 seconds. Repeat with other breast.

Exercise 2
Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Remove your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back up the car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Ask the stranger to smash the bookends together as hard as they can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

You are now properly prepared!

Comments

[Pauline Esson]

Hilarious. Absolutely rocking back and forth on an already unstable chair hilarious. I've been glued to your blog this evening but just ad to let you know the stress relief you'd spread with your mammogram post.
I'll stay glued!
Pauline

[Nathalie]

Good luck with your mammogram - but I'm here to tell you, as a person who's had quite a few of them already (my mom had breast cancer) - they're not *that* bad! I've given birth, and waxed my legs, both of which were much worse.

Again, good luck!