Women at Rest

1-800-SAVE-MY-SANITY

Feeling overwhelmed takes a humbling turn as I pray for the people and animals killed, harmed or otherwise impacted by Hurricane Katrina. I don't know, I can't imagine, and you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers!

Try as I might, I can't deny today frustrated me to the point I made a tearful S.O.S. call to Bryon to come home to fetch Lucy and Silas (our Dobies). I spent a frustrating day yelling at them to stop barking at various causes for panic:

• Our next-door neighbor having the audacity to harvest apples from his tree
• An underage neighbor kid racing his loud dirt bike up and down the street (which I normally bark at myself)
• Flying bugs and other hallucinations

For some mysterious reason they were insanely amped up today. Correcting them didn't work. Nothing worked. Not play distractions, timeouts or squirting them with the hose. It got so bad this morning I sequestered them in the living room and nearly made them watch The Larry Elder Show! But even I couldn't stoop to that level of punishment and switched over to The Sundance Channel.

Bottom line: Reaching out for help is good. It saves our sanity and in some cases, lives. It also enables fresh delicious hot pizza to be delivered to our homes ... 15 minutes and counting. :)

Home Alone ... at Last

This morning Bryon left for his yearly men's retreat. He'll be back Sunday evening, giving me 5 days and 4 nights of solid alone-time. YEAH BABY! Of course this means I'm the single parent to our three adventure-loving dogs who fortunately are semi-comatose today due to two big nature romps and zero naps yesterday. I wish they'd be this mellow all weekend. Would it be wrong to dope them? (I'm kidding.)

For me a weekend alone means:

• Eating and sleeping according to my natural rhythms
• Quiet ... (Bryon isn't a noisy man but he's active which amps the dogs)
• No interruptions, conversations or country music
• Lots and lots of luscious spacious time ... to write, putter, watch movies, daydream, garden, read, color, secretly toss B's ratty old T-shirts, etc.
• Bubble baths without the inevitable "Want company?"

No doubt I'll notice more as I settle deeper into this sacred time with Self. Right now I'm going to feed the honeys an early dinner then fix myself a nice big salad and watch tonight's movie Off the Map. I love this moment.

Rest Disguised as Illness

Nothing summons The Rest Fairy* quicker than getting sick. Yesterday I woke up with body aches and I still have them today, so everything in my Day Planner has been canceled or postponed. (Which is secretly sort of a relief. Which is a sign itself I've overextended myself.) Today I intended to catch up with the teleclass I'm taking, write a letter to my wholesale customers and send a welcome letter to the Women at Rest mailing list.

I sent the welcome letter. Then snuggled with Silas. Then sent a couple emails. Then snuggled with an upside down Lucy. Then snuggled with Silas some more. Fetched the mail. Think I'll watch TV now. I'm done for the day.

*The Rest Fairy reminds me of Glinda the Good Witch--kind, glittery, sweet, soft-spoken but powerful. You can resist her only so long before her magic wand becomes an attention-grabbing sledgehammer (or falling house) to the head and you're knocked on your ass for days.

Hurray and *WELCOME*

How exciting--more than 50 new subscribers have joined the mailing list over the last two days! Clearly there's masses of us resonating with the need to let ourselves rest more. Exhale. More soon.

Join the Women at Rest Mailing List!

Forty-one years, countless burnouts, three therapists, two breakdowns and one serious illness later, here's what I know for sure:

Trying to bravely go it alone isn't brave at all. It's lonely, hard and a surefire way to a total meltdown. So plop your frazzled buns down on a chaise lounge (oooh that pink striped one looks comfy!), give Jason the cabana boy your drink order and let's explore what true, deep, authentic rest and rejuvenation feels like way down in our bones. Not just poolside on vacation, but regularly in our everyday overscheduled, overcommitted, overachieving, overstimulated lives.

Honestly? I don't know what all this mailing list will offer. What I do know is that you will receive gentle encouragement, words of wisdom, personal retreat resources and unwavering support as we practice allowing more rest, relaxation and downtime. Not to mention laughter, comfort and strength in numbers knowing we're not alone!

To join, send email to womenatrest-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. You deserve it!

Choosing to Rest at Bizarre Times

One way I experience deep, authentic rest is by accepting that it's impossible for me to be anywhere else, doing anything else, other than what's going on right now. Lately I've started playing with resting in new, unexpected ways.

Today is a good example. I went to InSpa to get waxed. (Sadly, I did not inherit my mother's fair Scandinavian hairlessness. My body hair genes are 100% pure, rugged, peasant Czech.) InSpa is an affordable, functional day spa with few frills and a strict no-tipping policy. So while under no circumstances would I get another pedicure there--the nail technicians wear gloves--it's a perfect place for those of us who need frequent and expansive (i.e., expensive) waxing.

I don't care how luxurious the spa or exotic the service, unless the massage therapist / aesthetician has a natural healing touch (which cannot be taught), the pampering falls flat. Kimberleigh has healing hands. Her touch is soft, tender and soothing even when she's ripping hair from my body. She caresses my face and legs as though I am precious and beloved. I don't think Kimberleigh knows she's a healer, but she is, and if I ever open a day spa I will poach her in a heartbeat.

So, on the waxing table today, of all places, I experienced rest. I couldn't be anywhere else, doing anything else, and I did my best to minimize mind-chatter and even conversation by focusing on the pleasure aspects: Kimberleigh's touch, being unreachable, the relaxing music, the sensation of warm wax being spread on my skin, lying down, being fussed over. Letting go is truly goodness.

Just Add Water

Just back from a few days on the Oregon coast with Lucy. God, what a blast! We stayed with the family of Lucy's best friend Jessie (that little brown speck running waaaaaay behind Lucy) in Rockaway Beach, and also played in Tillamook (home of my favorite cheese), Wheeler, Nehalem and my favorite spot of all, Manzanita.

I'd never been down there before and am in complete and total LOVE with the Oregon coastline! (Tourist meccas Cannon Beach and Seaside notwithstanding.) Every beach and town we visited was delightfully uncrowded, easygoing, friendly and utterly gorgeous.

Have you noticed it's pretty much impossible to be stressed around water? Especially water that's alive and everchanging: the ocean, rivers, waterfalls. Lakes and swimming pools are great fun to play in, but when it comes to both relaxation and feeling the power of Nature, I need moving water.

MUCH more to write about the healing powers of water ... but it's 6pm and Bryon's fixing scrambled eggs with ham and Tillamook cheddar for dinner, so I'm signing out for the evening.

A Quote To Remember Time and Again

Tension is who you think you should be.

Relaxation is who you are.

--Chinese proverb