I had a good day. It's been sneaking up on me since late last week, and today it softly landed. I'm both grateful and surprised. Grateful because it's my first good day since Lucy passed 6½ weeks ago. Surprised because I wasn't expecting to feel inner peace already. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm happy or joyful -- I'm still sad, still missing Lucy, still not liking her gone -- but I've started to settle into the new normal. Maybe my current good has been redefined as the absence of feeling shitty. Smiles come easier, and I've started to appreciate life again.
A few things I'm appreciating:
- The bounty of friendliness, food and community at my neighborhood South Perry Farmers Market. Every Thursday afternoon I walk over. I buy real farm eggs. And sometimes, like today, Gladstone peaches and GIGANTIC ears of corn picked this morning. I see people I know. I connect. I belong.
- A visit from my Mom. Extra bonus: blueberry muffins that she baked.
- Orders flowing in to zena moon.
- Talking through a misperception and a misstep with a friend. Feeling my heart open wider.
- My cooking. Specifically, my pasta. Sinfully delizioso.
- Three little Lucy gifts in one day: a lovely card from Patti Digh, a found Lucy hair, and when I turned on the Travel Channel the first words spoken were "The Juicy Lucy" which turns out is a cheeseburger with a molten core of melted cheese, made famous in Minneapolis. (Lucy would so approve!)
- A pile of Sami's favorite novels, just waiting for me to read.
- Boston Legal via Netflix. I'm midway through Season 2. I adore the writing and the acting and how Alan Shore can even make the word penmanship sound dirty.
- Silas the Dobie. He is my sweetest buttercup and my saving grace.
- Maya Stein's poetry.