2nd Chakra Resuscitation

This is BY FAR the most uncharacteristic self-portrait I've taken so far in the 365 Days project. Truthfully I'm slightly scandalized at myself! I'm not comfortable showing my body at all. I rarely even wear fitted shirts. In real life you'll usually see me in baggy sweatshirts or big T-shirts.

In real life this is something I'm ever so slowly changing. Last year I bought some pretty girly tops with plunging necklines. Once in a great while I even wear one. :)

Next month (April 14 in fact) marks the end of my promise not to date for one full year after splitting up with my ex-husband. As the one-year mark draws near and my desire to explore connections with new people heats up, I've affectionately dubbed this promise my "house arrest." This cracks me up. :) For reasons I won't go into, it's very important for me to faithfully honor my commitment to myself and if I go out on a date a week or two before April 14 I've decided that's OK. As long as I make it to April, it's OK in my book.

I've already taken baby steps towards the next phase of my new life: I joined Match.com. I posted a profile. I'm corresponding with some amazing, beautiful women who interest me. (I made a big dramatic coming out fuss in my 20s, now it's enough to say that my sexuality has aways been fluid and with the exception of Clive Owen and George Clooney I'm not interested in men beyond friends and this has been my truth for a long time.)  I've even connected with someone I know I'd like to meet in person -- she's in another city, but at least she's on the west coast too.

I'm already enjoying the fun of this! My sexuality has been dead a long, long time and I'm so happy it's beginning to come alive again. I wasn't sure it ever would. I guess that's what this photo is about.

Nurturing my sexuality. Daring to reveal myself a little more. Exploring who I am today. It's so unlike the me I've been, but maybe it's part of the me I'm becoming.

P.S. I'm very, very curious to see how my sexuality will fuel my creativity and spirituality. I'm very, very curious what else I'll be daring enough to do!

Comments

[Kate I]

Yeehaw Carla! Lets hear it for the 2nd chakra!! This is such a beautiful portrait.

[Olivia]

I agree, this is a beautiful picture. But even more beautiful is your sexuality come alive again. I do believe that the body shuts down for good reasons and knows...senses...when it is safe to come alive again. Much love, O

[Laurie Stewart]

I admire your commitment to yourself....You Beautiful enchanting warrior woman!

[Lori-Lyn]

Yes, yes--everything they said. Beautiful!

[Angela]

I'm excited to see how your return to sexuality will fuel our creativity, too, Carla, for it most definitely will. :) Beautiful photo of a beautiful woman.

[Dawn Goldberg]

I admire how courageous and self-assured you are, Carla. You've put in words something personal and shared it with us. Thank you for honoring us with what's deep inside you.

On a more shallow note, I'm envious of how beautiful your body and skin look -- all without the advantage of Adobe Photoshop touch-ups. :)

May you continue to be daring and nurturing,

Dawn

[SunnyGoddess]

Carla:
WONDERFUL for you to have taken such good care of yourself over this past year!

May the Spirits fill all aspects of your Being with the Beauty that is uniquely YOU!

And - let's hear it for SPRING and all that she has to offer as YOU spring forth and birth a new self!

With deepest respect and love,
Sunny

[Beverly Keaton Smith]

Oh yea, I totally see the second chakra connection here and also...I'm seeing an awakening around the fourth chakra too....the heart! You go girl! Beautiful self portrait! XOXO

[Beverly Keaton Smith]

ps...the photo above...is your REAL life too!!!

[Kathryn Knoll]

you said....I'm very, very curious to see how my sexuality will fuel my creativity and spirituality. I'm very, very curious what else I'll be daring enough to do!

Indeed! In my life, I have found that sexuality is totally what fuels creativity and spirituality. What I am talking about is the cosmic forces that are alive in us. In our culture, unfortunately we have a very narrow understanding of sexuality. It so powerful, that if we truly understood it and knew how to use it there would be nothing, and I mean nothing, we could not dream, create, heal, accomplish give birth to. We women hold within every cell of our body a Divine connection to the unfolding future. It so powerful that you can see why there has been such a despirate attempt to imprison, diminish, villify, hold as suspect, shame, pervert, blame and on and on, females. When even one woman claims her power it lifts the entire planet up. Bravo! We've been seeing this coming for some time now. There should be dancing in the street!

[islandgirlspirit]

Carla, it's a beautiful picture and you seem to have a beautiful soul. It lightens my spirit. Thank-you!

[Bob]

Well, despite the political incorrectness of me typing this, I would be IMMEDIATELY kicked out of the Brotherhood of Men ltd. all rights reserved if I didn't say nice rack, baby. Seriously. ;)

[Jane]

Beautiful post Carla!

I applaud and bow down to you for your personal commitments and ability to stay the course. Exploring our sexuality with raw honesty and introspection is so important. I have a feeling your creativity will absolutely soar to new places as you continue to dig down deep, peel away the layers and perhaps find a true love and partnership. When that time comes, she will be one hell of a lucky woman.

[claire]

such a beautiful photo and post, dear carla. i hope you don't mind, i've posted a link to it on my blog today... keep discovering, keep being open - you're such an inspiration!! xxxx

[Jessie]

"My sexuality has been dead a long, long time and I'm so happy it's beginning to come alive again."
This is spectacular wording. I felt the same emotion when I had finished breastsfeeding my daughter and my hormones were balancing out again.
Your words connected with me!

[celeste]

beautiful post.
congratulations on such a great decision, and making it through (nearly) a year of such introspection and self-discovery.

[Amanda]

I cannot wait to hear your news as you move ever forward in your life - I think your year committment to yourself is wonderful and it sounds like it has made sure you are more than ready to move on now! Good Luck and thanks for sharing with us all!

[Temple Woman]

first: GORe~juss self.picture!

second: i KNEW it. i just KNEW it! re the you lovin' women thing.
maybe you've shared this here beFore & i just MISSed those posts........this is the first time i've heard you SAY it & it confirms what my dyke.O.meter was pickin' up.

Love so much about this & what you share.

[Kikipotamus the Hobo]

After reading your post I got a strong image of a butterfly emerging from the chrysalis. Can't wait to see where your new wings take you.

[patti digh]

gorgeous. in many ways.

[maryam in marrakesh]

Oh my........what an incredible response you have hear on this post. I look forward to hearing how your release from house arrest goes:)

PS Hope this doesn't sound shallow but you have beautiful breasts!

[Julie]

Beautiful.

[cyndi]

that's a beautiful photo. i'm sending loving and positive energy your way in hoping that your resuscitaion goes smoothly.

[yolanda]

I admire your bravery in posting this and I hope you find that someone you are searching for.I think that you shine when you live your truths and I only wish the best for you.

[Janet]

I'm happy to hear you say this: "My sexuality has been dead a long, long time and I'm so happy it's beginning to come alive again."...maybe there's hope for me :-)

Love the shot!