Pulling Out the Big Guns of Gratitude

My Sacred Life
Day 17

I didn't see what happened, but it happened in the instant I was shutting the gate at the dog park. Lucy and Silas tore off into the park, like usual. It was early, it was just the two of them, and I suspect Silas tripped and rolled, and that his collar (or a dog tag?) sliced the tip of his ear off. I tried to stop the bleeding with a wet towel without success. Blood everwhere, on the ground, on Silas, on me. Finally I put a Dr. Seuss bandaid over the wound and drove him to the emergency vet at Division and Mission. They stitched him up and wrapped his head like a wounded World War II vet. Silas says, "This is not part of my Doberman lifestyle!"

Thank God he'll be fine. The after-effects of anesthesia will keep him knocked out a day or two and I'm hoping he won't dislodge the bandages.

Me, I'm emotionally exhausted and I let God have it in the shorts this morning, yelling and ranting and cursing F you! Cut me some f-ing slack! (Mild compared to what all I said.) I figure God can take it and better God than some poor unsuspecting human like the woman at the emergency vet who tried her damndest to engage me in maligning her husband, complaining about someone else's T-shirt, the high cost of pets and I forget what else, but she tried 20 negative ways to draw me into conversation.

I stood in silence.
Leave. Me. Alone.
It's not my job to give you attention.

Obviously my spiritual fitness is piss poor today, so you know what that means. Time to write a super long gratitude list!

25 Things I'm Grateful For Today

1. Lucy and Silas
2. Emergency vet hospitals that are open when regular vets are closed
3. Junior Mints
4. A reliable car (my trusty 98 Honda Civic EX)
5. Pandora
6. My AA sponsor
7. How writing gratitude lists transform my mood
8. A God who doesn't mind if I lose it because she's there to catch me
9. My house
10. Spokane's unbelievably beautiful weather
11. The sound of neighbors doing yard work
12. Electricity, clean water and plenty of food
13. zena moon customers
14. Friends
15. My parents are healthy, happy and alive
16. My brother is healthy, happy and alive
17. Getting to know and play with so many amazing women and men in blogland
18. People willing to do crummy jobs that make other people's lives easier
19. People willing to write fiction, play music and make movies that make other people's lives more enjoyable
20. Leftovers in the fridge
21. Having a body that's mobile
22. Having a body that's pain-free
23. My sobriety (it is a sacred gift every day)
24. Rumi
25. You

This human being is a guest house,
every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and attend them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty
of its furniture....
The dark thought, the shame, the
malice, meet them at the door
laughing... be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~Rumi

Comments

[Kikipotamus the Hobo]

I got SO MUCH pleasure from reading how you handled the needy negative person. "It is not my job to give you attention." Right ON.

[Peanut]

Oh, poor Silas.

Poor you too.. for having all the angst related to his "accident".

I can relate to poor spiritual fitness today too... maybe I should go do a gratitude list as well! :o) Or maybe I'll just go and crawl back into bed. Who knows? lol

[eileen (the dream)]

Yeah ... God can take it. After all, if my God weren't HUGE, then my God would be too small to do me any good.

Poor Baby ... hopefully he will leave the bandage be until he is all healed up. He looks so sweet, snoozing away on your bed!

[Olivia]

Prayers for Silas, love to him, too. Sweet healing rest.

[Lori-Lyn]

Oh, I hope he's healed-up soon.

[Kara]

Oh poor Silas! So glad he's okay. Love your list and hope Moma Carla is resting too.

[Kim]

Awwwww! I love this photo of Silas. My Rex was a Doberman (red), and they are the most amazing dogs. And yes! It's not like a Doberman to be down and out! I hope his ear heals quickly, and that he will be back to his usual "Dobie" self soon!

[Kate I]

I'm so sorry for the upsetting time you and Silas have had...but he just looks so darn adorable and cuddly, sleeping there with his head all bandaged up and I just want to give him a big kiss on the nose!

[DebR]

I hope Silas is all better soon!

[Cheryl Finley]

Awww...What a trying day to say the least. Thank God Silas is resting comfortably in your home, and that you have a home, as you so included on your Gratitude List. After hearing you say "I'm emotionally exhausted"...I actually exhaled, because I've learned that often "exhaustion" can be followed by "letting go"...and letting the spirit of God work through us in Its perfect way, vs. our way..even if that way isn't evident right now. May your exhaustion bring you many gifts of release, and unexpected blessings and insights. I'm glad that you and Silas are home again, together...and on the mend. : )

[leah]

(((Hugs and love to you)))

what a sweet pic of your pup. i do hope he's feelin better soon.

[Karen]

Poor Silas. I'm glad he's going to be okay. It sounds like you had a rough day but you handled it so well--I'm going to go write a gratitude list right now. Thanks for reminding me.

[Lunarmusings]

Breathing a sigh of relief for both Silas and you!

Much love,
e

[Monique]

Love and healing to Silas, (and Love to Lucy cause I'm sure she'll need some too! :) And rest, comfort, peace and love to you Carla. I will use your internal words as my own mantra next time someone is trying to get me to join their negative crusade. Lovely way of holding your ground. You constantly inspire me!

[Melissa]

Awwww, poor Silas! I hope healing comes quickly for all of you. If Silas is as resiliant as you appear, I'm geussing he'll heal swiftly. Even though it's awful how he got that way, that has to be one of the cutest, sweetest pictures I have even seen. I just want to hug him.

[Beverly]

So glad it wasn't worse and sorry it happened at all...Sending healing to Silas...and a big hug to you Carla!

[liz elayne]

i am so glad silas is okay! so scary...

thanks for the reminder of creating a gratitude list...yes...so important in the midst of the difficult.

sending you peace...

[claire]

poor silas!! my heart goes out to you, carla...
healing thoughts to your boy, and deep peace to you - bless you for sharing...
xxxx

[Temple Woman]

beautiful LIST.
i don't tRUSt =HER= yet.
that is on my healing List.

(ref. to # 8)

........................

Re: Your Bay-bee.
As a dogMOMMa ~ my Heart cringes to read anyone Else's babies are hurtin'.

Deep Breaths, Darlin'.

and; can I just say ?
[your words capture feelings i've had SO succintly]

I LOVe this:

>>>It's not my job to give you attention.

That's right, sister.
Damn STRAIGHT.
or DAMN Gay or y'know; whatever.

*wink*

[daisies]

oh poor sweetie, so glad he is going to be okay and wow, you! you kept it together, you managed so beautifully, you wrote a beautiful gratitude list, you make me smile!!