Word of the Day: Liminality

Liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning "a threshold"). The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness and indeterminacy. One's sense of identity dissolves to some extent, bringing about disorientation. Liminality is a period of transition, during which your normal limits to thought, self-understanding and behavior are relaxed, opening the way to something new. (From Wikipedia.)

Thanks to my spiritual director for naming my state of being today! She says there is tremendous grace in the liminal state. I have to continually curb my desire to drive forward to elsewhere, to make something else -- anything else -- happen, and let myself reside in the betwixt and between of today.

That said, this unspoken thing is getting in the way of my blogging. Here's what's going on: After 13 years together (10 years married), Bryon and I are ending our marriage. There was no big blowout or anything definitive, just someone finally speaking the truth we've both known a long time. We're much better friends than husband and wife.

The most amazing thing is experiencing the healing taking place between us. We are going through this together, taking it slowly, choosing stable actions and behavior, doing what's best for our family. Someday I'll write about the magic, grace and raw-boned spirituality of this experience.

For now, I just need to live it.

I will be moving. This means zena moon will be moving. I don't know when and I don't know where. This worries, obsesses, inspires and excites me!

Tomorrow I'm taking my first Artist's Date! I know where I'm going, but I don't know what will happen once I get there or what I'll wind up doing. And if that's not a true statement, I don't know what is. :)

Recent Splurges
The Velveteen Rabbit
Nuages du Monde by Delerium
Worlds Apart by Blue Stone

Tonight's Netflix Flick
Running With Scissors (I rate it 3 out of 5 stars)

Coveting
Canon Digital Rebel XT

(Photo by Ashenzil.)

Comments

[Kelly]

Oh, Carla. I don't know what to say. You are navigating these strange waters. You are not running to either extreme. Liminality.

My heart and thoughts are with you. K

[leah]

(((big hugs))) to you. i am in awe of how you are already finding the peace and healing within this difficult time. i wish you continued healing, courage, and loads of self-care. xoxo

[Julie]

How very brave you are, and what a blessing you have people like your spiritual director to support you.

[Bob]

Big hugs as you go through this. The people who live robotic lives of sub-hypnotic boredom and stasis are denied the major life events people like you and I hog up and experience our inordinate share of major stressors. Oh well. Lucky us!

As toddlers like to shout:
MINE MINE MINE NO MINE MINE

;)

[patti digh]

carla - what if the liminal spaces of our lives are the most potent spaces we will ever inhabit? interestingly, i just wrote about liminal spaces this week - "let go of the monkey bars" - about not thinking of that in-between space as no-thing, but everything...peace as you fly. love, patti

[Cousin Christine]

call me if you want to vacation in Idaho. I am always here, with a care package and a bed for you. you are in my heart.

[Melba]

I just started reading your blog. I know big changes are in store for you. I am sending you some love and healing energy. You have a great attitude!

XO,
Melba

[Monique]

Carla you are in my heart and thoughts. I wish you both the best as you walk this new path. If there is anything that I can do or offer, please let me know!

[Eileen Miller]

Deep Peace to you, Carla. My first husband and I walked down a similar road several years ago. And we are friends today. In the big scheme, it was and is all about Grace.
Isn't is awesome to have people in your life to help you along? I have strong sponsors in two fellowships, an incredible network of women, as well as a Spiritual Advisor - blessed, BIG-time. I'm looking forward to receiving my Let Go, Let God candle. Gratefully, Ei.

[Joanne]

Carla, What can I say, may you find peace and lovein your new life

love Jo

[martha Bilski]

Hi I just popped in from finding water. the dao says change is the only constant thing. I am grateful to live in a world where the end of a marriage can mean a new beginning..sounds like you are being mindful and present and compassionate xoxo

[mike]

Good luck, Carla.

[LJ]

I found this entry when searching for "liminality." I recently came across the word, and wanted to learn more about it, because I am in a state just like the definition describes. I just graduated, I'm living with my parents while throwing out all my old junk and looking for a job, and I even got engaged to a guy and planned to move to another country... that was a REALLY liminal state, standing in the airport wondering how to fill in "Country of Residence"... then that fell through. I don't even know where I want to live or what I want to do for a living. The Career Center told me that the whole world was open to me, and since I could use the internet, they really couldn't offer me any help. I asked about their "choose your career workshop," and they said, "That's not for people like you."

What the encyclopedia article says is, some people become forever stuck in a liminal state.