Some days run smoothly, some don't. At the gym this morning, after grousing to myself for a solid hour how I sooooo didn't want to workout, after concocting various lies with which to cancel a 10am session with Justin my kickass personal trainer (my dog is sick, I'm sick, I fell down, a cat got caught under the hood of my car and I'm too traumatized to drive), after feeling overwhelmed with everything I need and want to do today, after leaving voicemail to a wholesale customer who's late paying for the zillionth (and last) time, after putting on a T-shirt that made me look HUGELY fat, after pitching said T-shirt into a giveaway box, after slipsliding in slush, after parking a hundred miles away from the gym's door, after forgetting my lock combination, after scratching my arm on the goddam locker, I let out a deep breath and prayed for acceptance that today is simply a not-smooth day.
Then I hooked up with Justin and burned my muscles into shreds. I'm still in a pissy mood, still overwhelmed, still want to isolate, still want to lose 40 lbs (instantly, thankyouverymuch) and divorce Bryon and sell zena moon and join a convent (a progressive and fun convent of course), but at least the you-should-have-worked-out voice is silent today. Today I'll take any victory I can get, no matter how miniscule.
How did you reach outside your comfort zone this week?
Funny I should ask, I was just thinking about that while swimming laps this morning! (See, I'm not even funny today.) I think my biggest stretch this week was speaking my truth despite feeling vulnerable. Wednesday via The Ugly Comparison Game post, Thursday at an AA meeting and today via this post.
Now it's Friday, it's the New Moon and this moonbeam needs to rest. I wish I felt more than the sum of my to-do lists ... but some days are smooth, and some aren't, and I've just gotta hang on and make the best of today.
Everything has its wonders,
even darkness and silence, and I learn,
whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
P.S. After the gym I rewarded myself with new colored pencils and a box of Junior Mints. Not-smooth days merit fun treats. :)
(Photo by Pedro Anahory.)