zena musings

This Week's Stretch ~ 9/29/06

I want to acknowledge my surprising lack of posts in September. I also want to let myself off the hook and not attempt to delve into the whys and wherefores.

Some days navel-gazing is tedious and tiresome. Some days I cannot stomach another shitty news headline. I long for the shallow and the meaningless. For simplicity and love and honesty. It's a stunning autumn day, mid 70s, bright sunshine, blue sky. My hair is freshly blonde and I look good in this photo. A 28 year-old guy friend who's a total hottie thought I was 33. That's something to celebrate!

Today I walked and sweltered, misdressed (as usual -- try as I might, I have ZERO ability to dress weather-appropriate!) in too-hot sweats. I didn't care, my body needed to move. I talked with my Dad. I lamented my conscience which insists I correct a $400 error made in my favor. I said my morning prayers, ignored my hairy legs, wrote my gratitudes. Spent an hour with fellow alcoholics and soaked up faith, shared hope, held hands, teared up with joy looking at a tree outside the window.

I am so grateful for life.

Part of me doesn't give a rat's ass about reflecting how I reached outside my comfort zone this week. The truth is that since getting sober nearly a year ago and since beginning to work the 12 steps of recovery, my comfort zone gets blown to smithereens all the time. I live outside it daily, hourly. I have to. And that, paradoxically, grants me more comfort, strength and faith than I've ever known. I am the luckiest woman in the world because of it! I feel like Dorothy when she opens the door and her whole world has changed from black and white to color.

Wow is right. :)

Right now I'm on Step 9 -- making amends to people I have harmed -- which is one constant, giant, scary stretch after another. It's also the most liberating, amazing, self-loving experience I've ever had.

How did you reach outside your comfort zone this week?

1. I wrote and mailed amends letters to a former employer, a childhood schoolmate and former friends in another country.
2. I returned phone calls and offered smiles when I didn't feel like it.
3. Lisa and I sent our bios + headshots to Breitenbush making our commitment to host a retreat there next year 100% official -- YEAH!
4. I told the truth in this post.

Blessings to each of you. I hope your weekend is filled with richness, love and simplicity.

10 Things I Love About Today

1. Basking in the delicious scents of mulled cider, pear, cinnamon and orange as I pour this year's first batch of fall candles: autumn, halloween and thanksgiving ... YUM
2. That billionaire Warren Buffett married an age-appropriate woman who's gorgeously frumpy and natural and looks very, very kind
3. Stacy Brice blogtipped me -- how cool am I?! :)
4. Not that Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died, sadly, but that he went out living his passion
5. Movies that make me laugh 'til I cry (the latest was "Wedding Crashers")
6. Getting reminded how being of service is what's most important in life, via the following note I read today: We don't have to do anything heroic. Washing the bottom of someone who is ill is the most holy rite.
7. The brilliant and hilarious Showtime series "Weeds"
8. My dogs, family and friends who are alive and well
9. That a big pile of boxes filled with my candles will be picked up by UPS tomorrow and ferried across the continent, spreading light and comfort and beauty
10. You

What are your 10 Things today? Put a link to your list by leaving a comment here!

This Week's Stretch ~ 9/1/06

How did you reach outside your comfort zone this week?

Well, aside from posting yesterday an unretouched photo of myself sans makeup or hair products, my most significant stretch lately was committing to leading a retreat at Breitenbush in Spring 2007.

WOO HOO!

So far the only detail nailed down is that it's a 4-day retreat called Women at Rest & Play co-facilitated by Lisa Evans and me.

I've never led a retreat before, so this step is well outside my comfort zone although 100% on spot with what I've been called to do next, which is to lead rest retreats for women. Stay tuned for more details such as dates and registration info as they unfold!