zena musings

Health Insurance for the Self-Employed

It's no news that quality affordable health insurance for the self-employed is an oxymoron. The good news is, it's pretty easy to compare health care plans, as I recently discovered using eHealthInsurance.

I'm shopping around because in March our monthly premiums skyrocketed from $350 to $600. True, our coverage is phenomenal--even better than when I worked at Microsoft--but $600 a month when we're both active, relatively young and perennially healthy is too high.

Since leaving Microsoft and having to forage for my own coverage, I've always opted to join organizations that offer health insurance. For years I belonged to NASE (National Association for the Self-Employed) which offers good coverage at affordable prices along with a host of other valuable membership benefits.

I dropped my NASE membership when I decided to join the Microsoft Alumni Network exclusively for former Microsoft employees. In addition to group insurance, MSA offers me a powerful networking platform as well as the same deep discount at the Microsoft Company Store that employees enjoy. I'm not a big networker / organization joiner but these among other attractive benefits factored into my decision to join and I'll likely remain a member even after dropping their health insurance plan.

If you're self-employed and looking for health insurance:

• Look into alumni organizations you're qualified to join; many offer discounted health plans
• Some labor unions, professional clubs and women's organizations offer group health insurance to their members (networking can be an added bonus)
• Check out NASE--they're an easy, affordable way to secure coverage for you, your business and employees
• Visit eHealthInsurance for easy plan comparison
• For other possible options, The National Women's Health Information Center provides a wealth of information

Does This Mean I'm (Sorta) Pregnant?

I'm ready to adopt a new dog. Soon. I want to bring a new honey into the fold while Elliott can help raise him. I've been checking Petfinder as well as various Seattle rescue organizations; no luck yet finding our new boy, who will be:

• Sex: Male
• Size: Large (70+ lbs when full grown)
• Breed: Doberman, Rhodesian Ridgeback, or a really cool mix
• Age: Young (anywhere from puppy to 2 years)

Bryon's Mom raises and breeds Dobermans in Wisconsin (where Ranger and Lucy came from) so we may wait to see if she has another litter this year . . . but I am really feeling the urge now every bit as strong as a biological clock. Have for months.

A Side Note: Last night we watched Hotel Rwanda--good movie, but certainly not great like I expected--which made me want to adopt an African child. God help me somebody is getting adopted into this family!

So, my eyes and options are open. Meanwhile I'd better not travel to Africa. Just for grins I've even checked the newspaper and am horrified to see what breeders charge for puppies. Believe me, I know the dog breeding world and the many benefits of reputable purebred dogs and regardless, paying $1,000-$2,000 for a dog is outrageous when so many perfectly wonderful, healthy dogs are killed each day. And when did "oops" litters start selling for $300 a pup? Criminy.

I've already picked out four potential names: Gus, Bruno, Casper and Silas (in honor of our favorite character on HBO's Deadwood). Before I got Elliott, I'd already chosen the names Oliver and Elliott and when I saw Elliott I knew: he was Elliott. Having names in my pocket is like carrying a biscuit: it helps attract the perfect dog who fits the name. Just hope I don't attract four dogs. Lucy and Elliott would mutiny.

I Love This Quote!

"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." -Thomas Edison

Facing What My Body Needs (vs. Pushing Past Exhaustion)

I can tell my body is rundown because I slept like a dead woman last night. Ten uninterrupted hours of deep, dreamless slumber I could sink back into any minute. Outside it's cool and rainy so my aches could be the weather combined with post-retreat tiredness, but I'm playing it safe by skipping the gym and my volunteer shift at Children's Hospital today.

Instead I'm writing, working on Women at Rest, listening to quiet music (Debussy for Daydreaming is playing now), and drinking Traditional Medicinals Daily Detox tea (flush those liver enzymes!).

Meanwhile I'm bursting with all sorts of wonderful ideas for Women at Rest, most of which require energy and action I desperately wish I was up for today! But my body has other needs, none of which involve exertion. Which leads me to the big question:

How can I be present with my work and community without wearing myself out further? How, in fact, can I be fed and rejuvenated by being present with my work and community?

This is sooooo key for me . . . This is precisely the question I have been dancing with this year. I will be sharing what I discover in the coming days, months, years, decades ahead!

Guilt-Free Self-Care

Home from this weekend's Self-Care Retreat on Whidbey Island, beautifully and powerfully facilitated by Comfort Queen Jennifer Louden. I'm rested, inspired and full in both body (the food was waaaaay too yummy!:)) and soul.

I've been on enough retreats to know this about myself: re-entry is awkward and hard. My husband Bryon always makes it easier by welcoming me home to a clean house and dinner on the table. I love him for that. Now today . . . today I face a long to-do list and a bunch of juicy new things I want to do!

But, alas, not everything can be done today. My overriding need today is to stay home and revel in alone-time, so the gym and bank were crossed off my list. Making candles and writing 30 minutes were added. This is gentle. This is doable. This supports my deepened senses and slowed-down system. This is what listening to body and soul feels like.

Who Do You Become Without Time to Rest and Reflect?

Thursday I leave on a four-day Self-Care Retreat led by Comfort Queen Jennifer Louden. One of my promises this year was to go on retreat, either alone or led by others, four times. This is Retreat No. 2 so I'm well on track and proud of myself for keeping this commitment. (It's soooo easy to bail on what truly feeds us, tossing up excuses of indispensibility around caring for family, business, etc.)

But, as Jennifer writes, "To be and offer our best selves to the world, to fully inhabit our lives, to know who we are and what we want to create, we need retreats."

It's true. Retreats have changed my life, expanded my heart and connected me with the most AMAZING WOMEN! Including myself.

Every so often we need to unplug from everyone else's tuggings and expectations in order to connect with our deepest, truest, purest Self. To renew, recharge, restore. To discover. Listen. Rest. Tend.

If you've never been on retreat, Jennifer's are the greatest. (She's the bestselling author of The Women's Retreat Book, so she knows her stuff!) See a list of her upcoming retreats. Maybe I'll see you at one! :)

Today is Elliott's 15th Birthday!

I took the whole day off to celebrate with him, and one of us -- the one not pictured -- is whupped.

This morning we went to the dog park for an hour and a half walk. Lucy was beside herself with joy to have Elliott along (usually it's just Lucy because Elliott goes to work with Bryon every day), so much so she didn't get into a single scuffle! Elliott, on the other hand, stirred up trouble by attempting to mount a big young male lab. Like any unwelcome hump it resulted in raised hackles and a snarl, so Elliott went off to chase an 11 month-old Italian Greyhound. Did I mention he's 15 years old?

It was a great day. I wish Bryon was here (he gets home Sunday from his fishing trip). Both Elliott and Lucy enjoyed (inhaled) cheeseburgers and doggie cones from DQ, several of their traditional birthday pumpkin muffins at home (the "1" and "5" birthday candles are actually stuck in two pumpkin muffins), and extra special meals.

No one loves life more than Elliott. He has been my teacher, friend, silly troublemaker, and constant companion for 15 years, and I am the luckiest person in the world. Happy Birthday, Popunka!

P.S. Tomorrow the birthday extravaganza continues 'cuz Lucy turns 5! Although Elliott forbids actual acknowledgement of this until his birthday officially ends at midnight.

Tuning Out ezines & Newsletters

For months I've tracked a disturbing trend: zena moon is losing more newsletter subscribers than it's gaining. I tell myself not to take it personally, but how can I not? zm is me, and I do the newsletter!

Wanna know the truth?

I'm bored senseless with newsletters and ezines, my own included -- and I'm sure I'm not alone. Most are quite long and so full of valuable info it's like taking a bite so big you can barely savor the yumminess 'cuz you're struggling to chew! I'll pick up a magazine 2-3 times before I'm finished reading it. Not an ezine -- I have too much email -- when I move on, it's deleted.

What I'm attracted to are blogs with short, compelling entries. In email, I like bite-sized notes without many graphics. Maximum scrolls: 3. Two favorite examples:

• Jennifer Louden's Daily Dollop
• TUT * Notes from the Universe

Bottom line: I won't send out another newsletter until I come up with one that feels fun, useful, valuable and personal. And easy to digest. One I want to receive and read. (P.S. I'd love to hear your comments and feedback how to make it so! Either comment here, or email carla@zenamoon.com.)

Thank You for This Perfect Day

This morning I'm experiencing deepfelt joy in simple things. Listening to music. My dogs napping in other rooms (although Lucy will demand her midmorning snack in about 20 minutes). Learning my old friend Alice Wu is now a film director with a new movie out called Saving Face that's getting rave reviews. Yeah! GO ALICE! Checking off my to-do list. Enjoying solitude while Bryon's away fishing. A long hot shower. Anticipating tonight's season premiere of HBO's Six Feet Under. Composing newsletters, answering emails, working from the heart.

It's rare but man is it GOOD to feel utterly happy and almost maniacally grateful for What Is . . . without wanting a single bit more of anything other than what this day already holds. This, to me, is restful. Yes.

Busted!

Today was Lifting Weights Session #6 since joining the gym two weeks ago. I confess I'm at that awkward place where I've put in:

• Enough workouts to want to see results
• Not enough workouts to actually see results
• Enough workouts to feel somewhat stronger or, at the very least, slightly less shaky

This is the magical point I'm tempted to quit many things I start. Two weeks bustin' my buns off and results are neither visible nor measurable. Yikes! Even as I type this, I'm laughing -- could my expectations be any more ridiculous?!? I wonder how this plays out in my business, my writing, my life.

Today's Note from the Universe (if you don't already get them, you must sign up now!) sums it up perfectly: "People who do all they can, with what they've got, from where they are, no matter how puny their actions, how tiny their steps, or how futile it may seem, simply have more fun."

Yep. The crazy thing is, I'm actually enjoying these baby steps! It's energizing being around people during the day. (Even moreso when they're muscled and hot.) I like the physicality of lifting weights, and swimming every day delights my inner mermaid. I like feeling sore. I like connecting to my body and knowing I'm doing right by it. Yet I'm letting my focus on results (outcome, the future) rob my actual experience (the process, now).

Ah. Breathe this awareness in. Bless myself for catching myself with gentleness and compassion. Vow to pay attention to where else I bail on, or ease off, my goals when now doesn't -- couldn't -- live up to my impossible expectations. And remember the eye candy!