zena musings

"Seven of Pentacles" by Marge Piercy

Under a sky the color of pea soup
she is looking at her work growing away there
actively, thickly like grapevines or pole beans
as things grow in the real world, slowly enough.
If you tend them properly, if you mulch, if you water,
if you provide birds that eat insects a home and winter food,
if the sun shines and you pick off caterpillars,
if the praying mantis comes and the ladybugs and the bees,
then the plants flourish, but at their own internal clock.

Connections are made slowly, sometimes they grow underground.
You cannot tell always by looking what is happening.
More than half the tree is spread out in the soil under your feet.
Penetrate quietly as the earthworm that blows no trumpet.
Fight persistently as the creeper that brings down the tree.
Spread like the squash plant that overruns the garden.
Gnaw in the dark and use the sun to make sugar.

Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.
Live a life you can endure: Make love that is loving.
Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,
a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us
interconnected with rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.

Live as if you liked yourself, and it may happen:
reach out, keep reaching out, keep bringing in.
This is how we are going to live for a long time: not always,
for every gardener knows that after the digging, after the planting,
after the long season of tending and growth, the harvest comes.

This poem really resonates with me this morning, especially the last paragraph. Live as if you liked yourself. Today I get to make clear, mostly conscious choices about my life. I get to, as Camille Maurine says on the boundaries candle, treat my personal space as a sanctuary.

Quote of the day: "No is a complete sentence." (For me, easier to say than to hear.)

Spiritual practice of the day: Praying for people I'm upset with to have everything I want for myself: love, community, financial security, purpose, a love affair with God, safety, prosperity, joy, fulfilling work, usefulness, inner peace, positive relationships, good health, ease, enjoyment.

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses Their Mind

Some days this is what following your dream looks like.
Some days this is what running your own business feels like.
Some days well-meaning customers piss you off.
Some days you don't do the right thing.

Fortunately, these types of days are rare.
Fortunately, I get to say when it's closing time.
Fortunately, I can go take a walk to clear my mind. Pray.
Fortunately, today is only for today. And tomorrow is a new day.

Sacred Life Sunday: Writer's Block

Never have I had less of a desire or ability to write. The word well is dry, has been for some time. Occasionally I'm able to scrape together a few phrases, but it feels like the slow burn of exercise after sitting on my ass for months. My effort is leaden, strained and I'm easily winded. Unless I keep at it, I'm afraid I'll never regain my strength or improve.

I have also neglected adding new Sacred Life Sunday participants to the current list. Please accept my apologies. I promise to catch up this week!

Blessings to all...

Sacred Life Sunday: Life Is Full of Itself

Lately my life has welcomed and experienced (some grudgingly) . . .

Sisters of the heart and soul. Laughter. The ocean. Rain. Sandy feet. Salt water taffy. Flirting. My sweet dogs. Candles. Questions. Listening. The SUN! The Tudors. Prayer. Expectations and disappointment. Tenderness. Fear. A friend's death. Mystery. Daffodils. Community. Yahtzee. Long roadtrips with David Sedaris and Anne Lamott books on tape. Courage. Forgiveness. Grace (thank you, Mike). Dog farts. Lust. Faith.

Cavorting With Goddesses

This is my accidental Anne Lamott impression. If you're curious why I'm wearing capris on my head, click here for the full story. In a nutshell, I'm getting ready for my trip to the Oregon coast and bought myself some new clothes. My new bachelorette lifestyle requires cuter outfits than the usual baggy sweats! I'm psyched to visit two of my favorite women on the planet: Sister Kathryn and Lisa Evans. I also have a hot Match.com date in Portland I'm super excited about! So much richness to enjoy, and I keep hearing the phrase Cavorting With Goddesses in relation to this journey.

Towards the tail end of hellish 2007 I knew that "ease and enjoyment" would be my motto for 2008. Like everything, it's part Universe, part the result of my choices. So far so good. :)

Notice of Price Increase ~ May 1, 2008

I want to let zena moon customers know that effective May 1, 2008 our candle prices are going up. The new prices will be:

2 x 3 small pillar - $10
2 x 6 medium pillar - $15
3 x 7 large pillar - $22
3 x 8 obelisk - $18
2½ x 3½ affirmation & element - $12
3 x 4 animal totem - $18
2½ x 3½ prayer - $14

I know this may seem like a steep hike, but in reality it's exactly parallel to the rising costs of our materials. Since our last price increase in 2003 we’ve absorbed a 30% increase in the cost of wax alone, plus significant increases in labor, scent, utilities and other materials which go into making our hand-crafted candles. I have avoided raising prices as long as possible -- too long, to be honest -- but to keep the company healthy and my dogs fed I need to face the inevitable.

We will still offer free shipping over $30 every full moon as well as special new moon discounts available to our newsletter subscribers (sign up here). You can also save a whopping 50% every day by shopping The Island of Misfit Candles.

Price increases are never easy, which is why this is only the second one I've done throughout zena moon's nearly 9 years in business. It's no secret that women business owners especially struggle with valuing their work and setting fair prices. So, if you don't have an accountant who actually pays attention to your Profit & Loss statement and works with you to keep your company solvent, I highly recommend finding one ASAP! Before hiring my new accountant I was pretty much operating in the dark in some areas, and that is one dumb way to run a business. Especially a business that reflects your heart and soul (which are of great value).

Thanks for your support, loyalty and patronage. I'm grateful beyond measure!

Sacred Life Sunday: Rebirth

I am grateful for this life. For resurrections, rebirth and healing. For new pink shoes, Easter dinner with my parents and the Emdes, tired dogs, my brother, March Madness, Sister Cathy's voice, and my upcoming Spring Break road trip to visit Sister Kathryn and Lisa and a beautiful woman in Portland. For laughter and soft skin and rainy Sunday afternoons and really sweet spine-tingling good kissing. (Yessiree, for the first time since 1994 I am officially dating! My year-long sabbatical is over. I made it 11 months and one week. Yay me!)

For more Sacred Life Sunday participants, click here. (I'll be updating the list this week.)

(Photo by suika*2008.)

Sacred Life Sunday: Goodness

   

This morning I made breakfast for my parents, my brother Bob and his girlfriend Monique. Huevos rancheros and real bakery bread from Great Harvest Bread. I love my family. I also love hot buttered toast with jam.

I'm in an extended blogging slump. Just not much into it right now. Where my creative focus and passions are going (in no particular order)...

• My 365 Days self-portrait project on Flickr
• Enjoying Lucy and Silas (as I write this, Lucy is sleeping beside me snoring like a sailor)
• Savoring life as my days unfold
• Filling orders and creating new candles
• Training for July's triathlon
• Flirting, exploring, connecting and emailing with women I'm interested in flirting, exploring, connecting and emailing with :)
• College basketball's March Madness -- good luck to WSU, Stanford, UCLA and of course my beloved Gonzaga -- GO ZAGS!

For more sacred lives, click here.

2nd Chakra Resuscitation

This is BY FAR the most uncharacteristic self-portrait I've taken so far in the 365 Days project. Truthfully I'm slightly scandalized at myself! I'm not comfortable showing my body at all. I rarely even wear fitted shirts. In real life you'll usually see me in baggy sweatshirts or big T-shirts.

In real life this is something I'm ever so slowly changing. Last year I bought some pretty girly tops with plunging necklines. Once in a great while I even wear one. :)

Next month (April 14 in fact) marks the end of my promise not to date for one full year after splitting up with my ex-husband. As the one-year mark draws near and my desire to explore connections with new people heats up, I've affectionately dubbed this promise my "house arrest." This cracks me up. :) For reasons I won't go into, it's very important for me to faithfully honor my commitment to myself and if I go out on a date a week or two before April 14 I've decided that's OK. As long as I make it to April, it's OK in my book.

I've already taken baby steps towards the next phase of my new life: I joined Match.com. I posted a profile. I'm corresponding with some amazing, beautiful women who interest me. (I made a big dramatic coming out fuss in my 20s, now it's enough to say that my sexuality has aways been fluid and with the exception of Clive Owen and George Clooney I'm not interested in men beyond friends and this has been my truth for a long time.)  I've even connected with someone I know I'd like to meet in person -- she's in another city, but at least she's on the west coast too.

I'm already enjoying the fun of this! My sexuality has been dead a long, long time and I'm so happy it's beginning to come alive again. I wasn't sure it ever would. I guess that's what this photo is about.

Nurturing my sexuality. Daring to reveal myself a little more. Exploring who I am today. It's so unlike the me I've been, but maybe it's part of the me I'm becoming.

P.S. I'm very, very curious to see how my sexuality will fuel my creativity and spirituality. I'm very, very curious what else I'll be daring enough to do!

Sacred Life Sunday: Dog Is God Spelled Backwards

Yesterday was one year since my sweet boy Elliott passed. I thought yesterday might be extra hard, but honestly it felt like every other day since last March 1st. I miss him. I love him with all my heart and soul. I talk to him. I feel his presence. I wish he was still in his body. My grief doesn't hurt as much as it did, but it still hurts a lot. I am beyond blessed to have had him nearly 17 years! I wish death didn't happen. I hope when my body dies we're together again. That is my prayer and my belief.

My intention for today's post was to take a shot of my living room altar with a framed picture of Elliott and the candle I'm burning to honor him. But Elliott never liked having his picture taken unless treats, trickery and/or restraints were involved!

So instead, Silas got suckered into model duty. I love my babies. Whether they're still in their bodies or not, they're my babies forever.

Elliott, I know you think it's funny that Silas is getting kissed rather than you! Silly punkinhead fuzzy bear. I love you.

For more sacred lives, click here.